Love stories happen in several ways for different people. However, there are universal stages that people go through in relationships, starting from when they meet to how it ends. Understanding these stages can help you navigate around your love life better regardless of how long the relationship lasts.
Teaching professor and expert in nonverbal communication research, Mark. I. Knapp created a relationship model that sums up the stages people go through in a relationship. The model is divided into the escalation model (starting point) and the termination model (the coming apart).
The First Phase of a relationship starts with the Escalation Model (starting point)
The escalation model in Knapp’s theory is usually the earliest stage in a relationship. It is divided into 5 stages, starting from the initiation stage to the bonding stage.
1. The Initiation Stage
This is usually the first step in a relationship and it is that time when people make an impression, whether physical or mental; and it is also the attractiveness stage. This stage is usually short but it is a determining factor as to whether one would go to the next stage or discontinue.
2. Experimentation Stage
This is the second stage of a relationship and it is at this point that people explore, get to know each other on different levels, share values, and talk more about personal experiences. This is a critical stage where 1’ understands the depth of the other and whether they align with what they want. At this stage, you’ll have to pay attention to both body language and words.
3. Intensifying
This is the stage where you accept the other person, become emotionally invested and be more open and vulnerable. You start to share more personal information about yourself, and you also want to understand more about the other person. This stage is equally one of those stages in a relationship where things seem perfect.
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4. Integration Stage
This can be known as a dependency stage. This is that point where you feel comfortable and start to depend more on the other person. You want to see them, hang out, call more often and want to share opinions.
5. Bonding Stage (commitment)
This is the last stage in Knapp’s escalation model and it is the point in a relationship where you become very close and the commitment is on a higher level. This is also the stage where the relationship gets serious or goes public. While this is usually an important stage in a relationship, it does not guarantee its success.
The Termination Model (The Coming Apart) is the Second Phase of a Relationship
6. Differentiating Stage
At this stage, the bond between the people involved in a relationship will start to diminish and they will rely on themselves or other people rather than the partner. Also, they will choose to do things individually rather than involving their partner, even in the things they used to do together as a couple. At this point, feelings will diminish, and dislike for each other may start to creep.
7. Circumscribing Stage
When the bond breaks and people in a relationship start to go down the drain, they limit a lot of things such as conversations, and time spent together, and rather than talking about personal things even if they will have a conversation, they will discuss instead about random things.
8. Stagnation Stage
When a relationship reaches this stage, it becomes stagnant. Feelings drop, shared interests, level and quality of communication are dropped and many other things are limited. However, rather than fixing or letting go of the relationship, people in this situation remain together because of reasons such as shared interests such as marriage, children, and other shared interests.
9. Avoidance Stage
The avoidance stage in the 10 Stages of a Relationship is the time when people in a relationship avoid many things such as conversations, emotional availability, and physical activities. They try to keep their distance in many ways and although in some cases, these people will still be in a relationship because of personal reasons and expectations, it mostly ends for people who have reached this stage.
10. Termination Stage
This is the last stage in a relationship. It is the time when people completely fall apart and decide to end it. This stage does not apply only to romantic relationships but also to relationships with family, friends, acquaintances, neighbors, and more.
